• * Moist chocolate sludge cake
• * Fresh fruit tartlets with pistachio
• * Pink frosted cupcakes
• * Opera cake
• * Chocolate dipped strawberries
• * Petite macaroons
• * Hand made Grand Marnier and honey truffles
• * Mozzarella, cherry tomato and basil bites
• * Smoked salmon and lemon cream cheese wrapped pancakes
• * Petite sandwiches of Champagne ham with English mustard, roast beef with horse radish cream, cucumber and cream cheese, egg and watercress, grissini wrapped in Parma ham
• * Savoury herb scones with crab meat
• * Espresso coffee and exotic teas

I’d drink champagne and make it last the whole afternoon. Where else is good for High Tea in Auckland? Anywhere cheaper than $36?

Quality Inn West End Hotel

Standard Double Room $99 according to their site – not listed on wotif.com
The Quality Inn seems more like a motel than a hotel, even if it doesn’t have a kitchen in their standard double room. What they do have, however, is a small pool in their atrium, and that’s nice. I stayed here because it was on the bus route to the zoo and I was going to see Goodshirt play there. Plus it’s only a very short stumble to Occam and Foodtown Grey Lynn. I’d stay here again if there was nowhere else available, but it’s not very glamorous.

Citylife

$170 for a Deluxe Suite on wotif.com but $160 on their site
When I stayed here, I was on my way back from a trip to Fiji with my best friend, and so I thought I would go for some luxury. I think the room was $140 then, with a free upgrade to a deluxe suite AND a $50 credit for food and drink, which I later found out was not applicable to room service. Anyway, the room was lovely with a dining room/lounge area seperate from the bedroom, the bed super comfy, the shower pressure wonderful. It was Heather’s birthday so she came over and we ordered room service, an $18 inhouse movie and she slept on the pull-out couch for free. Checkout was slow as a group was leaving before me, but I would most definitely stay here again if it was in my budget again.

Comfort Inn Newtown 121

$125 for one bedroom, $145 for two bedroom
The first time I stayed here, it was for the Big Day Out at the start of 2006, and Lisa and I needed a place to stay together, with parking and seperate bedrooms. The unit we got was great, as spacious as an apartment, and while the furniture was a little mis-matched, it was all clean. Being right next to the motorway though, it was quite loud, and since it was summer windows had to stay open. I stayed here in a single suite another time, and was disappointed that there was no bath, but the shower was very very good. Then at the start of this year my whole family checked into two 2-bedrooms and were dismayed to find that each of those units had one internal bedroom. That wasn’t advertised, and it was very uncool. Plus the lift was scary and missing walls, and I cut my toe on it. The place was kind of tired-looking too. So it’s not perfect, but is probably good if you want to smuggle in more people than you’re paying for, as the rooms are so large. Oh, and the parking’s free, which is an advantage when places add up to another $25, it’s really quick to get to off the Northern Motorway if you’re driving up from Wellington, and it’s by Symonds Street for the Aiport bus, and also the fantastic Benediction Cafe on St. Benedicts St.

Quest Ponsonby

$125 for a studio apartment
Quest Ponsonby is in a good location if you plan on having a group dinner at Sawadee, which I did. The room is small, but high-quality, with really good sheets on the super comfortable bed, and a bright pink arm chair. The one issue I had with it was that there are large rolling windows, and I left mine open, and then I got very very drunk, and when I woke up I heard many people talking and I was afraid to open my eyes to see who was in bed with me. But luckily it turned out to just be the outdoor cafe in the courtyard beneath me. Phew!

Empire Hotel

$135 for a two bedroom for one night
In 2007 when Lisa and I went to the Big Day Out again, the Comfort Inn was all booked out, so we had to find another place to stay. Empire looked okay, even though I was a bit weirded out at the thought of staying on Whitaker Place where I used to live, and the price was right. But that’s about the only thing that was.

I suppose it was partly our fault for thinking we could check in easily at 7pm the day before the BDO when every other person who was staying in the hotel seemed to have the same idea. It took me half an hour to get a garage key for Lisa, and then nearly another half hour to get up to our room on the 14th floor in their tiny little lift that was always always full. Then the rooms were tiny, and the beds were so hard that Lisa found it necessary to sleep on the uncomfy couch. Checkout was a big misson as well, and their Asian Cafe looked unappealling. The bar looked okay, but the whole hotel was so full of screeching morons we didn’t check it out, but luckily there was a convenience store right next door at #15. Why couldn’t that and the bar have been there when I lived at #13? Sigh.

The Quadrant

(It’s currently $119 for a studio apartment with a free DVD – but they have a “wot hotel?” deal going – recognisable from room description being all ‘Designer’ and they have a hot tub – for $99)
I love love love The Quadrant, so much so that I’ve already described it in my journal entry from when I went to see Muse: “The Quadrant’s lobby was stark white and filled with scented candles. I rolled my bag down the long white walkway through the bar area and into a lift that had an embedded TV screen playing Juice. My room was tiny but functional. I discovered to my perverse joy later that I could sit on the toilet, blowdry my hair, drink vodka and watch TV all at the same time. What more could anyone want?”

Well, what I did want the next day was breakfast after 10am, but apparently that wasn’t possible, so Heather and I settled for having antipasto and bubbly in the sunny courtyard off the cafe instead (but you could always go get some French Toast from nearby), and then a session in the hot tub. Later, I went in and turned the temperature on the hot tub right down, so that it was a lovely luke-warm when KateH and I got back from Muse, and it was absolutely perfect for sore feet and sweaty bodies (that we showered off first, of course). The Quadrant’s location near the Vector Arena makes it a natural choice for a place to stay if you’re going to a concert, so I recommend it if only for that reason! And if you’re too tired after your concert to leave your room, they do room service delivery style, including cocktails from the swish bar, and they also have inhouse porn channels and DVD delivery. Sounds like a party to me! Just be aware that the front desk staff may misdirect you to the airport shuttle – it’s actually pretty much right outside.

Elliot Street Apartments

($185 for two bedroom) (we paid $130)

The Elliot Street Apartments are in a gorgeous old building that’s been nicely refurbished, and as far as locations go, it’s in a brilliant spot. The airport bus stops just a minute away in Queen Street, and you’re above the Elliot Street Stables foodcourt, so you too can eat your way around the world, and also one of the Aucklandista’s favourite wine shops, Artisanal Wine Suppliers. Also, if you’re returning to the airport, they offer a $25 taxi service, which is brilliant. The desk staff are very very helpful. So how about the rooms?

Well, their advertising makes a big to-do about the height of the ceilings, and justly so, but the thing is that if the rooms were turned on their sides, they’d be bigger. The two internal bedrooms in our 2brm were the width of a short double bed, and didn’t have much space to spare besides that and a closet. They did, however, have freestanding fans, which was bloody lucky because the rooms were BOILING in January. The living area was small too, with a couch not big enough to stretch out on after the hard Big Day Out, but we improvised with piling pillows on the dining room chairs as foot stools. The TV was small too, but the bathroom was nice. So, it’s probably a good hotel to stay in if you don’t plan on spending much time in your room, and you don’t have a loudly snoring sister to share it with, because it’s cheap, and in a good location. I’d stay there again, if the price was right, but probably by myself. Apparently the studio rooms are tiny so I’d try for a one bedroom.

Copthorne Harbourcity

($155 plus complimentary wine or beer. WOO!)

This one of the worst hotels I’ve ever stayed in. My room wasn’t ready when I went to check in, and when I did get there, I found fluroscent lighting, a saggy bed that was two singles pushed together, a bathroom straight out of the eighties, a dismal low ceiling that looked like adobe, and terrible terrible service from the front desk who never answered the phone and never sent up the towels that I requested because the bathroom wasn’t properly stocked. I stayed here because I could get it on airpoints dollars and because it was across from the Viaduct location of my friend’s goodbye party, but there is no way I’d stay there again. To indicate how bad it was: I wrote nasty comments on the feedback form when I was drunk, and then in the morning when I reread them, I realised that I was completely accurate. And that’s bad. The only redeeming feature of this hotel is its quiet & fairly stylish bar (until you get to the blue carpets in the toilets) that has $5 drinks on Saturdays from 5pm-7pm where we had the first Aucklandista bar. Seriously, do not stay in this hotel. It is TERRIBLE.

Getting there: The airport bus runs past my place every 20 minutes. I waited for 30 minutes, but there was no sign of the bus. I started to panic and called a taxi. $50 later I was at the airport, but too late for check-in. Oh no! But fate smiled upon me — due to ‘weather’ in Wellington, the plane was late, so they could check me in after all. In Wellington, the taxi to my hotel was cheap, but slow in a way that proves the bypass was a dumb idea. Wellington wins this one for delaying my flight.

Hotel: I wanted to stay somewhere on Cuba Street, in Wellington’s rich bohemian heartland, and thanks to the power of the interweb I got a good room rate at Quality Wellington (worst hotel name ever). What I didn’t realise is that the hotel building development is owned by that guy who no one likes who is married to that lady who no one likes, so my indie cred took a blow. The hotel had some awful artworks in the foyer and some dull photos in the room, but I did get a top floor, corner room with spectacular views of central Wellington and that brothel on Vivian Street. Sadly Auckland’s rich bohemian heartland – K Road – offers no hotels, so Wellington wins this one by default.

Celebrity spottings: Damian Christie’s notorious Metro article complained that Wellington has no celebrities. Well, once, at my local shops, I saw this lady who once presented a sports show on Sky. On a good day in Auckland, I might see someone like Mark Sainsbury, but no one who’d make me get all giggly and excited. In Wellington, Bret Conchords showed up at Mighty Mighty, Giovanni Ribisi was also there (but I didn’t see him), and then on Saturday, Taika Waititi and Loren Horsley were at Hawthorn Lounge. Like, cool. Wellington glamorously wins.

Entertainment: Within a couple of hours of arriving in the capital, I was off to Mighty Mighty for the Wellingtonista / Public Address shindig, and what a shindig it was. Not only did I get to dance my arse off to Blam Blam Blam (better than their gig at the King’s Arms in September, I reckon), but I met all these cool Wellington people who I’d previously only known online. The rest of the weekend was spent having other splendid adventures, including taking photos of graffiti and sticker art, checking out the Toi Te Papa exhibition at Te Papa, a $100 art sale at the Thistle Hall, attending the Madame Fancy Pants VIP evening, and there may also have been a bit of drinking involved somewhere along the way. Auckland can be just as awesome for entertaining, but that weekend, Wellington was the winner.

Eating: Well, there was the kebab restaurant on Courtenay Place, where skill and cunning was required to be able to eat our crappy 3am kebabs at a table. And then there was the bright yellow corn fritter from Viggo Mortensen’s favourite fish ‘n’ chip shop. And the conveyor-belt toast and warm orange juice in my hotel’s continental breakfast buffet. There was some good, cheap Thai food, but I was mostly let down by Wellington’s food. But in the magical land of Auckland, where reasonably good food is available 24-hours a day (yo, Denny’s!), Wellington let itself down in this category.

Drinking: Well, yeah, I had a few drinks. There was the delicious peachy Wellingtonista drink at Mighty Mighty, the poached pear punch at Superfino (sans the poached pear, but still perfectly refreshing), the negroni with mandarin-infused gin at Hawthorn Lounge (which I couldn’t finish, but it was still lovely), lemonade at Alice, and a few other fruity delights. I was absolutely tickled to experience the knowledgeable bar staff at Superfino and Hawthorn Lounge, who would happily discuss the ins and outs of cocktails. It’s a fact: Auckland’s drinking spots are nowhere near as good. Wellington is the clear winner.

Final result: Wellington 5, Auckland 1. I really ought to go there more often.

Airport access: Getting to Wellington Airport, from Thorndon via a quick stop in Hataitai to pick up my suitcase took less than half an hour, and the only cost was some grovelling to my mother. Getting to the CBD of Auckland via a shuttle took an hour and cost $26 – that’s 15 minutes longer than the actual flight, and only $13 less than the ticket. Wellington 1, Auckland 0.

Airports: Wellington airport has only one terminal, which is blissfully fast food chain-free and it’s a sexy big space. You can get Fuel coffee, and Wishbone food (which caters to a wide range of dietary requirements) but it’s loud and bustly, and the stools they have at counters are shiny metal and you slip off them. Meanwhile, Auckland Airport may have Burger King and MacDonalds, but they also have a juice bar with those posh award-winning recoverable design style chairs. A tie.

The hotel: With a special Wotif.com mystery deal, my ‘studio’ at The Quadrant was $99 per night. That’s $8 less than the $107 I pay in rent per week, but the whole studio, including kitchen and bathroom was approximately the size of my bedroom. It was much much tidier though, and, as a special bonus, I discovered I could watch TV from the toilet. Why would I ever need to leave? The Quadrant makes a big deal about its architecture, and they’re right, it is pretty sexy. I guess the nearest equivalent to it in Wellington would be the new Holiday Inn, but I’ve never been in it, and apparently its toilet doors freak people out, so I guess I’m going to have to call Auckland the winner on this one. 1 all.

Entertainment: I went up to Auckland to see Muse play, and if someone had given me a free ticket, I would gladly have gone along to Justin Timberlake as well. In addition, I got to go to the wrestling at the Lynfield YMCA, have lots of spas, and watch naked chicks on the television in my hotel room. Fine, Auckland gets the entertainment points. This time.

Eating: A key feature of any trip to Auckland is assembling a large group of my friends to gorge ourselves silly at Canton in Kingsland. Wellington, quite frankly, does not have a Chinese restaurant that makes me drool this much. But the coffee is universally better than that which I drank at the hotel cafe, Gloria and Rueben, and coffee is important. Despite all the booming growth around Symonds Street, there’s still not a huge range of cafes in the area, so I’m going to have to give this one to Wellington.

Drinking: The choice of bars to go to in Kingsland after dinner at Canton was either Ruby – a small bar playing hits of the ’80s very loudly, or the big hulking Kingslander, with a TV screen in every single line of sight, affecting conversation. And yes, that’s right, I’m going to judge all Auckland bars on what was available in Kingsland. Wellington for the win, again!

Final result: Wellington 3, Auckland 2. It’s good to be home.