O Auckland my Auckland! Our fearful trip is done,

John Banks has weathered every rack, the prize he sought is won,

The port is (not) near, the bells I hear, the people all revolting,

While follow eyes the steady dollar, the World Cup grim and boring;

But O heart! heart! heart!

O the bleeding drops of red,

Where on the deck public transport lies,

Fallen cold and dead.

Also, it would seem, Gelato.

Giapo sells Gelato. And, if I may say so, it’s epically good Gelato. They have a range of flavours which cannot be said to be exotic, but are definitely wide ranging, and are all delicious. But the tastiness of the flavours are not why I’m thinking about social networking while writing about frozen dairy desserts. That’s because Giapo is amazingly engaged with various social networking systems, and internet stuff in general. They have a Facebook Page. They’re on Twitter. They have a blog and no less than two different youtube channels. They have a Google Apps form for daily flavours. (Note: My favourite flavour is ‘Just For Girls”. Read into this what you will.) Holy shit. They may actually be leveraging this stuff more than any other company in New Zealand. Certainly more than any national or local government body, so far.

The net result of all this social networking is that you start to think of them less as a faceless corporate purveyor of frozen snacks, and more like a friend. A friend you might drop into when you’re in town, and then twitter about how utterly delicious their gelato is.

And you will.

Giapo is at 279 Queen Street, just up the road from the Civic.

I have definite magpie-like tendencies. By which I don’t mean that I swoop down from trees to viciously peck unsuspecting pedestrians on the head. Rather, I’m irresistably drawn to pretty shiny things. So the New Zealand Jewellery Show is right up my alley.

Held at SkyCity from 2-4 July, the show will feature over 100 contemporary and fine jewellery designers from throughout New Zealand along with an exhibition featuring work from Fingers and Masterworks, the Regal Castings Jewellery Design Awards and the Designers’ Choice selection which this year will focus on rings.

More information, including opening times and ticket prices, can be found on the official website. So go along, browse, and buy something pretty for me because I’ll be on a plane winging my way to England for a three week family holiday. (Yeah, I know. It sucks to be me.)

So when a friend asked if I wanted to hit Coco’s Cantina for a mid-week dinner, I was stoked. But when we arrived there was an hour long wait. On a freaking Tuesday. Is it really that good? And is it just a cool restaurant with Mexican food, a la Sweet Mothers Kitchen, just more expensive?

For those of you who don’t know, Amanda Palmer is engaged to author Neil Gaiman, who is giving a Town Hall Talk in Wellington as part of the NZ International Arts Festival. Palmer and Gaiman were amusingly described as “musician Amanda Palmer and guest” when they appeared on the red carpet at this year’s Golden Globe Awards, despite the fact that they were there because Gaiman was nominated for a Golden Globe as the author of Coraline. Which just goes to show that a little bit of fact checking never hurt.

Amanda Palmer is playing The Kings Arms on Wednesday 17 March, doors open at 8pm. Tickets are available from Under the Radar.

I’m a product of the ’80s – when I was a teenager George Michael was still straight (well as far as we knew anyway), Berlin was a city and a band, and former Prime Minister Sir Robert Muldoon guest starred as the narrator when The Rocky Horror Show toured New Zealand.

All that is far in the murky depths of the past now, or so I thought, but recently I’ve had the oddest feeling that I’ve stepped back into the ’80s again. Not only has the ever revolving wheel of fashion brought ’80s clothes back to the stores, but now it seems like every band who had a hit song or two back then has reformed and is touring. And actually, that’s fine by me. When Duran Duran played Vector Arena in 2008 I was there, singing along at the top of my lungs.

This year sees at least three big acts from the ’80s coming to New Zealand. Scottish group Simple Minds (whose lyrics thankfully are easier to understand than their indecipherable accents) play The Civic on Tuesday 30 March as part of a world tour to celebrate their 30th anniversary. Then on Thursday 29 April Tears for Fears and Spandau Ballet (who, if my circle of friends was anything to go by, were the subject of many a teenage girl’s daydreams) play a double bill at Vector Arena.

Simple Minds tickets can be purchased from The Edge, and Spandau Ballet/Tears for Fears tickets from Ticketmaster. And if you go to Spandau Ballet and some five foot tall chick is bouncing up and down behind the tall people and shouting “I love you Tony Hadley” at the top of her lungs it’s totally not me, honest.

Downtown, trying to avoid munters. Just overheard: he’s wasted as, bro – @hadyngreen

Trying to figure out a place I can flee to today to avoid the munt – @robyngallagher

will have to brave the railway station soon. Psyching myself up for Olympic-class munter-dodging – @badtom

There was even a diagram to try and make sense of it all. Here’s a re-enactment:

Don’t let This Kind Of Thing happen in Auckland, team. We’ve already sold Hamilton the dummy on the V8s, the leaden-footed Rugby World Cup preparations could yet bear fruit and, godwilling, we won’t have to worry about that pesky America’s cup for while, either. If YOU see any money spinning events featuring crowds of people with pockets stuffed with disposable income having a good time approaching Auckland, let us or your local city council fuss budget know *immediately*.

I tried to tell her that I’d never even considered it, but when Jo makes “suggestions”, it’s very similar to the Mafia telling you what to do except with a “I mean, if you want to” tacked on at the end. So I managed to find myself a friend with a car and we went out on a Dog Out to do some Serious Investigative Journalism. Read on for the (SPOILER ALERT!) very boring results.

Our first stop was the bottom car park at Mount Eden, because it was 10pm by the time I had persuaded my driver friend to participate in my crazy scheme, and the Wellingtonista comments said that it closed at 11pm. We saw nothing and no one, but it was a nice spot for me to have a quick smoke in. I hope that’s not tapu. So instead, we set off down Mt Eden Road towards our next destination.

Onehunga went through a bit of a stage of being the hot place to buy houses, at least according to one Metro article one time or something but it is not a hot place for dogging. We went to the Orpheus Street Reserve, and there was a souped up car full of teenagers who were drinking RTDs, except for the driver, we’re assuming. They didn’t appear to be having sex, but beneath all those baggy hoodies, who could really tell?

We had planned to go to Murphys Bush Reserve but it looked too far away according to Google, so we hopped on the motorway and went to look for “auckland domain still has a gravel car park on the northern end, off the road that leads to the port motorway that can be good at times”. Honestly, by that stage I was far too stoned to navigate and was much keener to find a drive-through Wendy’s, so we returned to Mount Eden for salted goodness, went home, and downloaded some porn instead. Sorry Auckland, I will try to be a better journalist next time, I swear.