So let’s say you’ve raped someone, and they’ve been brave enough to make a complaint. Who are you going to call? Metro’s article entitled ‘Auckland’s Best Lawyers’ recommends John Haigh, QC. After all, he got Clint Rickards off – twice, and he was called in to provide ‘advice’ to those four British rugby players. Meanwhile, if you’re intending to drink and drive, lawyer Steve Cullen advises that you drink some Gaviscon to prevent the alcohol fumes for rising to hit the breath analyser. No wonder many people think Aucklanders are cunts. In fairness to Metro, the writer does suggest that if you’re drinking, you shouldn’t drive. But oh, these lawyers. they make me furious.
Elsewhere in the magazine, there’s a nice profile of a family in Mangere who struggle to get by on two incomes – but the article doesn’t really go anywhere. If it intended to capture a moment in time though, it did a good job. There’s a hatchet piece on the French Canadian Vanda Vitali who’s in charge of the Auckland Museum that uses the threat of “turning into Te Papa” all through-out the article. Exactly what is so bad about Te Papa anyway? Their giant Treaty of Waitangi has me totally in awe. And apparently it’s so terrible to hang a Colin McCahon next to a refrigerator. Umm, can we stop being so fucking precious please? Anyways, the article says that the museum’s Centennial Street is “a cluster of colonial shops with soundtrack of people making clanking noises. It’s usually empty, faintly ridiculous, obviously unloved”. Well fuck you, Metro, Centennial Street was always my favourite place in the Auckland Museum, and I was gutted when Karen and I went there in January and couldn’t find it. I think there should be raves in it. Well, I thought that back in 1997 when I went to raves, anyway.
A useful article is their review of the ten cinemas/chains, with descriptions of their seating, ice cream, movie ranges and prices. But otherwise, this issue is kind of redundant. Damian Christie does a small bio on Phil Goff, who seems nice enough but doesn’t answer the question about whether or not he’ll take over from Helen Clark, and they review some restaurants I’m pretty sure they’ve been to before. Well, at least there was no story on schooling in this issue, for once. My advice? Don’t buy it. Unless you need paper to wrap up a beer bottle that you kicked onto the stone floor by accident in your Samoan holiday fale.
Exactly what is so bad about Te Papa anyway?
The main complaint people seem to have with Te Papa (and I think Hamish Keith mentions something like this in the article) is that it can’t just let objects be – it has to make them FUN and EDUCATIONAL. And if you spend all your time pushing buttons and pulling out draws with quotes in them, you risk missing the core of the exhibition.
Te Papa has improved since how it was set up in the early days. Lessons were learned and objects and exhibitions seem to be displayed in more sympathetic contexts.
Like this…
Their giant Treaty of Waitangi has me totally in awe.
There it is – the Treaty, rips and stains and all, blown up in your face. It’s there aren’t any buttons to push. It’s a special part of the museum and it works with the subject.
And apparently it’s so terrible to hang a Colin McCahon next to a refrigerator.
The controversy was that there was no real connection between the two, other than they were both New Zealand artworks. Te Papa has learned from this and hangs its McCahons on a blank wall in the gallery section, to let the works speak for themselves without trying to make them FUN or EDUCATIONAL.
Anyways, the article says that the museum’s Centennial Street is “a cluster of colonial shops with soundtrack of people making clanking noises. It’s usually empty, faintly ridiculous, obviously unloved”. Well fuck you, Metro, Centennial Street was always my favourite place in the Auckland Museum, and I was gutted when Karen and I went there in January and couldn’t find it.
Oh, Centennial Street is still there! It’s a bit hard to find as it’s sort of hidden away on the top floor, behind the maze of the War Memorial section. It’s been renamed to something like “Auckland 1840s”, but it’s where it’s always been.
I loved Centennial Street as a girl (I used to pretend I was a lady from that time who’d suddenly been transported into the future world of 1985). But Metro’s description of it as “usually empty, faintly ridiculous, obviously unloved” is bang on.
There used to be an Auckland City section of the museum, but that was removed to make way for the grand renovations. So Centennial Street is all that currently represents Auckland City at the museum. I’d like to see the best bits of Centennial Street and the old city exhibition combined to make something that represents Auckland City from past to present.
If Auckland Museum needs some guidance or inspiration, they should take a look at the Wellington City & Sea museum for how to show a city’s history.